Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and violated her. His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.”
Well that’s a nice good love story. Except I think somebody got confused about the order in which you generally pursue a lady. I don’t seem to recall the book: “Rape. Woo. Marry. The guide to a successful marriage.” Maybe that’s just me. Oh wait, no. He’s just wrong.
They were filled with grief and fury…
Yep, that sounds about right.
“Intermarry with us…the land is open to you. Live in it, trade in it, and acquire property in it.”
Hey, we’re not so bad. We’re good people. Don’t be so intolerant. Just because we have different beliefs is no reason for us not to accept each other and live together.
…Jacob’s sons replied deceitfully…
Wonder where they learned that from…
“We will give our consent to you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males.”
Really? You think you’re going to convince them to circumcise everybody just to please you?
Their proposal seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem.
Oh…well then.
So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city to speak to their fellow townsmen….“Won’t their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours?”
Hey guys, they’re strangers, they don’t know anything. We’ll end up with all their stuff, and this is the only way they’ll let us marry any of their daughters.
…and every male in the city was circumcised.
Seriously. The whole city. Because of one family. These girls must have their fair dose of Sarah’s genes. Remember Sarah? Catch the king’s eye at 90? Yep. That’s what I’m thinking. Because this whole city goes through some serious stuff just to get a shot at one of these girls.
Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male.
Yep. If you’re going to pull a scheme over on somebody, might as well make it count, right?
They carried off all their wealth…
Hey look. That’s what you get when you try to mess with this family, or trick them into something. It comes back to get you. Laban tried to outdo Jacob, and lost everything. This city thinks they’ll outsmart the foreigners and take everything, but end up having their stuff taken. Not that they were alive to think about the irony…
You have brought trouble on my by making me a stench to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land.
We’re outsiders. They could drive us out, and you guys just gave them a pretty good reason to. Jacob again shows some of his new-found maturity and understanding of the situation, but his sons have already acted on their violent impulses. Deceit, plunder, and revenge first, think about the consequences later.
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